theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
