i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
