alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
