She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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