I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
