Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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