Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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