and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
