Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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