You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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