nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
