I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
