My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
