This girl is more easily done than said...
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
