i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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