I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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