i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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