garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize