I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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