another moral hangover. fuck.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
