There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
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the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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