why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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