There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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