Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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