It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She even gives head with a lisp.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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