i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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