I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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