I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
