we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
