dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
