I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so much tequila, so little girl.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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