SEEEEXXX PLEASE
4 words: hood of his car
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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