So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
