my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
