he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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