I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize