someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
