the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
