A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im six kinds of drunk right now
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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