I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
