apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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