Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
