I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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