you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
