If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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