addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
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Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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