His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
