you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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