just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
