he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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