party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
