Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
