Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
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he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
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Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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