Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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