your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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