I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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