At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
