I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
