Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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