my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
