I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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